Letter From Ronnie

by Tonie Cruea


Dear Family:
     I just wanted you to know that I made the journey just fine. Heaven is more beautiful than I thought. Everyone say's to say hello and that they love you and miss you.
     Please do not blame yourselves for my decision. It was my decision to make, and mine only. The pain that I was in was to much for me to take anymore. I was in my own dark little world, and I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
     Even though my pain has ended, I never thought about the pain that you all would have to go through because of my decision. For that I am truly sorry.
     Please forgive me for what I have put you through. I want you to know that I can now see your heartache and pain, because it is true what they say, their are holes in the floor of heaven. I see and hear everything now, and I am so sorry my dear sister, but please know that I will be with you each and every day.
     I will be the sunrise and the sunset that you see everyday and every night. I will be the raindrop that hits your cheek. I will be the wind blowing through your hair, and when you feel that little tug on your ear that will just be me whispering I love you.
     I will be the first flower that blooms in the spring time. I will be the one to hold your hand when you are scared and alone. I will be the one to show you the light in the dark.
I will be the laughter in your children's voice's. I will be there with you my sweet dear sister, with very single step that you take from this day on. I will be there with you through the good times and the bad times. I will be the star that you see twinkle at night.
     I know this Christmas will be hard for my sister because that was our time, but I will be with you. I will be the glow in the candles that you light. You will see soaring in the clouds and, when you see a rainbow in the sky, know that I just painted it for you with God's permission.
     I hope you like the view. I want you to know my sweet sister you we're the wind beneath my wing's. You we're my hero and that I was blessed to have you in my life. I want to thank you for always being there for me, and I hope that you will always dance throughout your life, because I will never be far from you my sweet sister. You see, you will always be in my heart, Just like I will always be in yours. I'll be watching over you.

Love Always Ronnie

Written for Ronnie's sister Debbie, by his Aunt Tonie.

~ Ronnie Lee Cook ~
September 16, 1972 ~ October 29, 2001

So much in life he had to bear
He fought with all his might
Deep within his heart he knew
He couldn't win the fight

Sadness filled his heart for years
He tried to find his way
Lost within this darkened place
His heart just slipped away

Mother lost while just a child
His heart so sad and blue
Direction lost in gentle love
Just couldn't make it through

Father gone in tragedy
How much could a child bear
No one there for the comfort now
His heart was filled with fear

Struggled through the best he could
But deep within his soul
Couldn't find a place to land
The place that made him whole

Alone with thoughts a little child
Who needed love's repair
Seeking in so many ways
To find what life was there

So with sadness that was deep
He could not just go on
Lost his battle in this life
His heart was so forlorn

May in life we never judge
One with such despair
In our minds we never know
The road that took him there

Think of him and say a prayer
Look into God's Light
Remember those he left behind
In sadness and hindsight

Learn to know the joy of life
The sadness and the pain
Wrap around the gentle shawl
That gives that peaceful rain

Remember him for he was here
His life will carry on
For all of those who loved him so
He lives in each new dawn

Gentle words from up above
They fall down from on high
Remember me remember me
Don't let life pass you by.

~ Francine Pucillo ~

©Copyright 2001


     The above letter was written by Tonie Cruea for her nephew who took his own life.

     Tonie wrote to me and asked me to write a poem for him. I felt that her words were poetry in themselves and so I agreed to write the poem and also include
her letter to his family.

     I hope that people will see this and realize that life is so very precious and that there may be a way for us all to help someone who is in such despair. I know that it is difficult to lose anyone in life, but to lose those we love, to suicide, is a terrible realization.

     I am including a link in this page for a help line for suicide depression. I thank Tonie for allowing me to use this, to try to help others who might feel that there is no hope left in their life. There is always hope. We must learn to reach out and help.

     Each human being on the face of this earth has great value. First they must find it in themselves and then perhaps their hearts can go on.

     If you or someone you know, is in need of some help, visit the link provided below.

     Thank you, Francine Pucillo


 Information On Suicide Prevention








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